Calm is contagious

The American Navy SEALs have a line for this. Calm is contagious.

The idea is that a group has an emotional temperature and it is set by one or two people. Everyone else reads them. If the person at the front is panicking, the room panics; if they are calm, the room calms, and the odd part is that it works whether or not they actually feel calm. The job of a leader in a crisis, as Bear puts it, is to thin the fog. Speak slowly, move slowly, ask one clear question, and give the room somewhere to put its attention.

This is not only for people with a title. Every family has one or two people who set its temperature. Every kitchen at ten past seven on a school morning does. Most of us have been the panicking one and felt the whole house tip with us, and most of us have, once or twice, been the calm one and felt it steady.

You cannot always feel calm. You can nearly always act it, and the acting turns out to be most of the job. Lower your voice, slow your hands down, and say the one thing that needs doing next. The children, the team and the dog will all get there about a second after you do.